Project Optimism: A Dose of My Own Medicine

glory's waiting outside your window

wake on up from your slumber,

baby, open up your eyes.

-needtobreathe

There are a few things I like to do in this life. (Well, there's really more, but for the intents and purposes of this blog post, there's only a few.) I like to pretend I have a twitter by hashtagging random sayings in my facebook statuses. I like to find hope and rainbows in cloudy days and demeanors. And I like to write lists in my moleskine notebook.

Another thing I like to do in this life, is call myself an optimist. Granted, in the midst of a situation I tend to see things very black and white. It's either gonna work out or it will fail and I'll either be at peace or I'll be completely miserable. But, even when I overwhelm myself I know deep down that things will work out because "...we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28). And when I looked up the actual meaning of optimism, I agreed with my self-description.

Being optimistic is not necessarily being joyful in every situation. I think that is a common misconception. Optimism is seeing the good where others fail to. It is seeing the potential in someone and having the hope that it will be reached. I believe optimism is a choice. For everyone. It is a lifestyle. Optimism is being "hopeful and confident about the future or the successful outcome of something". Enter #projectoptimism.

It all started early in the summer when I gave a friend the challenge to find something good in every day. I thought I was so clever in coming up with this challenge, but taking the challenge myself wasn't something that crossed my mind until a couple weeks ago. I think because I don't deal with depression on a regular basis, I forget that optimism/pessimism is a mindset that I am largely in control of. Of course there will be days when I'll think the world is just simply out to get me! I am human. I am described by many different words and my mood changes daily, even hourly. But I refuse to let that become a constant in my life.

You see, all the time we focus on our inadequacies, our insecurities, our fears, the improbable what ifs in a situation.... We dig ourselves a rut that can seem near impossible to get out of, the walls lined with the lies and discouragements of the world that we forget to look out for the positive encouragement God gives us every day. It can be the WORST day of your life, but you're still alive.

weeping may go on all night,

but joy comes with the morning

psalm 30:5

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the steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;

his mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness

lamentations 3:22-23

We all fall into the trap of clinging to the bad and forgetting the good. How many times have you had a great start to the day and then one little thing - like the Dav's espresso machine being broken or a bit of rain on your (semi) perfectly coiffed hair - turns your day right around? Once that instance happens, it seems to wipe our memory clean and all we can focus on is that bad moment and how nothing is going right.

We were discussing this is small group those weeks ago and this is what brings us full circle. As one of our girls brought up, Philippians 4:8 tells us to "Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." But how often do we really do this? It was in that moment that I - rather spontaneously - decided to give not only my small group the same challenge I gave my friend before, but this time, I took it myself.

So now we have "Project: Optimism". I never intended it to become "a thing". I thought I was the only member of our small group who actually took this challenge to heart, honestly. I immediately made a list in my notebook and affectionately called it "Project: Optimism" simply because I really like naming things. At the end of every day, I forced myself to process its events. What had I done that day? But more importantly, what was good about that day?

Take this blog post as my invitation to join this challenge. As I said before, I believe optimism is a choice and a lifestyle. I don't care what kind of a diagnosis you've been given. We have the power to overcome the let-downs of this world, because guess what? Jesus already has. He calls us to rise up and to take our place beside him as we go out in his name to do the work of our father. To reclaim this earth for everything that is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and worthy of praise.

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us,

let us also run with endurance the race which has been set before us,

fixing our eyes on Jesus - the author and perfecter of faith -

who for the joy set before him, endured the cross, despising the shame,

and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Hebrews 12:1-2

•••

Standing straight is not just proper etiquette.

hope which was lost

now stands renewed

There is power in our stance. On Christ the solid rock we stand. We stand before a judge. We take a stand when we own up to something. We stand out when we are different. We stand up to someone. I find so much wonderful imagery in the word stand. And what's more is that it's a verb. That means it's an action. We can't stand if we're tired; it requires energy. We stand firm, we stand strong - like a tree, rooted to the ground for centuries, standing tall and majestic in a forest - this is how we are when we have the power of Christ coursing through our veins. The dictionary defines stand as "to have or maintain an upright position supported by one's feet". And as we see in Ephesians 6, when we put on the armour of God we are instructed to "as shoes for your feet, ... put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace" (v15 - ESV). So let us stand in full confidence of what we've been delivered from and who we've been created to become. Let us embrace the processes of life, standing tall and firm because we choose to root ourselves in the word and character of God, standing strong in our laced up boots of peace and we will not be shaken.

no power of hell, no scheme of man

can ever pluck me from his hand

til he returns or call me home

here in the power of christ i'll stand.

Jon Foreman, wordsmith

"There is no way out. We were born into the fight. Every noble pursuit will cost you: justice, wisdom, strength, marriage, children -- you will pay for these with your breath, your tears, your blood, even your life. We're all in this together -- fighting to make sense of the madness, to make our lives count. All of us are on a journey of desire. Longing, yearning, hoping, dreaming for a better day. But these dreams of ours are held in tension by the obstacles between where we are and where we hope to be. We are suspended in mid-air like a still life, a photograph. Frame by frame, we live our lives, forever stuck in the ether of the frozen now. Frame by frame we are frozen in the present between yesterday and tomorrow. Frame by frame we step forward towards the infinite unknown that only tomorrow can bring.

Between the dialectic of life and death we are pulled tight, stretched out like the strings of my guitar. We are forever in still-life. A delicate balancing act between the end and the beginning, between the consciousness and the dream, between the forgetting that we call birth and the remembering that we call death. We are the notes dancing from the strings of time, held firm between life and death. This is the polarity of our existence, pulled tight between despair and hope, belief and doubt. We are strung tight between our birth and the grave. Humanity is dancing on the fretboard in-between. Death will one-day cut the string. Until then, we live in the tension."

read the full article from The Huffington Post here.

Thoughts From Last Week

Pretending to be someone we're not prevents us from seeing the change we need.

If we are to believe that God has created us then we must also believe that He didn't make a mistake in our design. I don't mean to say that we don't need to learn to change and grow, but we must learn to become confident in who we are. How cliché, right? Just be who you are. But sometimes it's the clichés that hit us the hardest.

We all want to be something more, something different. If only I could pull off that latest style. If only I could play guitar. If only I could land that internship. And who can blame us, really? The abundance of self-help books, advertisements, and just about anything else out there on the streets points us to look at our inadequacies but fails to give us a solution.

But have hope - for we are not to be measured by the world's standards. Jesus came so we may have life and have it abundantly. (John 10:10)

I don't like the phrase "starving artist"

I went to a set from the DC Shorts Film Festival today. It was great. Sitting there made me question (for the thousandth time) why I ever thought I'd want to move away from film. Making films and watching films that you can see the passion behind makes me genuinely happy. There was a Q&A session after the showing with most of the directors/writers of the films we saw. I, of course, didn't ask anything but those who did asked about the things I was wondering myself so it wasn't all a lost cause. One question was asked about how the filmmakers funded their films. Although most of the them looked relatively easy to make on a low budget, there's still a lot you have to think about budget-wise - extras, meals, film, props, make-up, not to mention paying the people you have working/acting/editing for you. The filmmakers' response: loans, loans, loans. I actually groaned audibly.

But for me, oddly enough, I'm excited with the idea of being "poor" or a "starving artist" or whatever other descriptive word is used. Maybe it comes from how I grew up or maybe it's a longing to live more simply. I don't know, but I know that once I'm actually living on my own (whatever that means), the funds are not going to be simply rolling in. I'm going to be traveling the world and making films about the people I meet. Let's just say right now I'm very thankful for a friend who gave me a great editing software and saved me $200.

So this is the new year.

But unlike the Death Cab for Cutie song, I feel pretty different. I've learned more about myself and others - especially God - and there's so much that's been going on lately that I can't feel the same for that would be stagnant. But in some respects I am still very much the same. I'm still struggling to decide on what I will major/minor in (as a junior); I still see the world through the lens of a camera; I still can't ask questions, and the list goes on and on. But it's been an interesting process, this clash of life. To be in a completely (for the most part) new place but still the same person. To know that I can't cop out because I have a responsibility and a duty to stay true to.

Well, the first week of classes has come and passed, welcome week festivities are over, we had our first 60 degree day in DC (woo!) but things are definitely not slowing down. They're flourishing all over the place and it's so exciting! After waiting a long and tedious summer for this fall semester I am so happy that it's finally here but more than the excitement of every freshman on AU's campus combined, I am so beyond words with how God's been answering our prayers. Our first TNW of the year came with a full house. Tons of freshmen have gotten quickly involved with Chi Alpha (our campus ministry) and I'm making new friends right and left.

I am also a small group leader this semester. My co-leader and I are leading a study on women's identity in Christ. We both believe there's a lot that needs to be said and tackled in that and it's admittedly scary taking a topical study approach and not having a cut and dry chapter by chapter book study to go off of, but there's adventure in that and well, we're both pretty adventurous people. I am going to try to blog every week before/after our meetings. Don't hold me to it, though, but I really do want to try to commit myself to that because I want to make our discussions and findings available to others since I know that a lot of women's issues (especially Christian women) need to be brought up to the community's attention. That being said, I will never ever label myself as a feminist so I'm finding this all to be very interesting. We would appreciate it if you would pray for our group, btw. We meet Tuesday evenings at 8pm (and if anyone reading would like to join - feel free!)

So these are the two major things I wanted to talk about. This fall is like a sunrise to me. It was a long and hard summer filled with more patches of darkness and confusion than I expected, but like any good long winter night it is followed by a stunning display of colour and brightness as the sun surely rises again. Be brave little champion.

A jealousy for not of.

I don't really know if I've ever been the one to accept the metaphorical baton in life, I feel like I've always been the one to pass it on again. So here I am stateside while a good portion of my friends are abroad. I was used to being a spectator on many of their relationships with others, listening to the frustrations and the hopes they have for their friends but not ever going past that because there was never a need to. Now they're abroad and I'm the one behind and I have to ask myself if I'm going to accept the baton they've - possibly unknowingly - passed on to me. For any of you reading, I want you to know that I am accepting this challenge. We are in this together and this is not just one man's fight. When one falls back, another steps forward. If one leaves, another takes his place. I am developing a jealousy for the potential of people I never envisioned myself having an unforced one-on-one conversation with and it's strangely empowering. Jesus built up his disciples to be fishers of men, he left us here on Earth that we may spread his truth and love. This is not just our dream by chance, it has been intertwined in our very hearts. This is who we are and what we do. We are to worship the one true God and to spread his love - the very definition he uses to describe himself. It is so wonderfully simple and yet so, so important.

So I want to leave off with that reminder, mainly because it's nearly 2:30 AM and I'd rather not try to continue to develop my thoughts but I appreciate any kind of feedback, I'd love to discuss this further. Have a good time of day, all - wherever you may be.