Jon Foreman, wordsmith

"There is no way out. We were born into the fight. Every noble pursuit will cost you: justice, wisdom, strength, marriage, children -- you will pay for these with your breath, your tears, your blood, even your life. We're all in this together -- fighting to make sense of the madness, to make our lives count. All of us are on a journey of desire. Longing, yearning, hoping, dreaming for a better day. But these dreams of ours are held in tension by the obstacles between where we are and where we hope to be. We are suspended in mid-air like a still life, a photograph. Frame by frame, we live our lives, forever stuck in the ether of the frozen now. Frame by frame we are frozen in the present between yesterday and tomorrow. Frame by frame we step forward towards the infinite unknown that only tomorrow can bring.

Between the dialectic of life and death we are pulled tight, stretched out like the strings of my guitar. We are forever in still-life. A delicate balancing act between the end and the beginning, between the consciousness and the dream, between the forgetting that we call birth and the remembering that we call death. We are the notes dancing from the strings of time, held firm between life and death. This is the polarity of our existence, pulled tight between despair and hope, belief and doubt. We are strung tight between our birth and the grave. Humanity is dancing on the fretboard in-between. Death will one-day cut the string. Until then, we live in the tension."

read the full article from The Huffington Post here.

Thoughts From Last Week

Pretending to be someone we're not prevents us from seeing the change we need.

If we are to believe that God has created us then we must also believe that He didn't make a mistake in our design. I don't mean to say that we don't need to learn to change and grow, but we must learn to become confident in who we are. How cliché, right? Just be who you are. But sometimes it's the clichés that hit us the hardest.

We all want to be something more, something different. If only I could pull off that latest style. If only I could play guitar. If only I could land that internship. And who can blame us, really? The abundance of self-help books, advertisements, and just about anything else out there on the streets points us to look at our inadequacies but fails to give us a solution.

But have hope - for we are not to be measured by the world's standards. Jesus came so we may have life and have it abundantly. (John 10:10)

I don't like the phrase "starving artist"

I went to a set from the DC Shorts Film Festival today. It was great. Sitting there made me question (for the thousandth time) why I ever thought I'd want to move away from film. Making films and watching films that you can see the passion behind makes me genuinely happy. There was a Q&A session after the showing with most of the directors/writers of the films we saw. I, of course, didn't ask anything but those who did asked about the things I was wondering myself so it wasn't all a lost cause. One question was asked about how the filmmakers funded their films. Although most of the them looked relatively easy to make on a low budget, there's still a lot you have to think about budget-wise - extras, meals, film, props, make-up, not to mention paying the people you have working/acting/editing for you. The filmmakers' response: loans, loans, loans. I actually groaned audibly.

But for me, oddly enough, I'm excited with the idea of being "poor" or a "starving artist" or whatever other descriptive word is used. Maybe it comes from how I grew up or maybe it's a longing to live more simply. I don't know, but I know that once I'm actually living on my own (whatever that means), the funds are not going to be simply rolling in. I'm going to be traveling the world and making films about the people I meet. Let's just say right now I'm very thankful for a friend who gave me a great editing software and saved me $200.

So this is the new year.

But unlike the Death Cab for Cutie song, I feel pretty different. I've learned more about myself and others - especially God - and there's so much that's been going on lately that I can't feel the same for that would be stagnant. But in some respects I am still very much the same. I'm still struggling to decide on what I will major/minor in (as a junior); I still see the world through the lens of a camera; I still can't ask questions, and the list goes on and on. But it's been an interesting process, this clash of life. To be in a completely (for the most part) new place but still the same person. To know that I can't cop out because I have a responsibility and a duty to stay true to.

Well, the first week of classes has come and passed, welcome week festivities are over, we had our first 60 degree day in DC (woo!) but things are definitely not slowing down. They're flourishing all over the place and it's so exciting! After waiting a long and tedious summer for this fall semester I am so happy that it's finally here but more than the excitement of every freshman on AU's campus combined, I am so beyond words with how God's been answering our prayers. Our first TNW of the year came with a full house. Tons of freshmen have gotten quickly involved with Chi Alpha (our campus ministry) and I'm making new friends right and left.

I am also a small group leader this semester. My co-leader and I are leading a study on women's identity in Christ. We both believe there's a lot that needs to be said and tackled in that and it's admittedly scary taking a topical study approach and not having a cut and dry chapter by chapter book study to go off of, but there's adventure in that and well, we're both pretty adventurous people. I am going to try to blog every week before/after our meetings. Don't hold me to it, though, but I really do want to try to commit myself to that because I want to make our discussions and findings available to others since I know that a lot of women's issues (especially Christian women) need to be brought up to the community's attention. That being said, I will never ever label myself as a feminist so I'm finding this all to be very interesting. We would appreciate it if you would pray for our group, btw. We meet Tuesday evenings at 8pm (and if anyone reading would like to join - feel free!)

So these are the two major things I wanted to talk about. This fall is like a sunrise to me. It was a long and hard summer filled with more patches of darkness and confusion than I expected, but like any good long winter night it is followed by a stunning display of colour and brightness as the sun surely rises again. Be brave little champion.

A jealousy for not of.

I don't really know if I've ever been the one to accept the metaphorical baton in life, I feel like I've always been the one to pass it on again. So here I am stateside while a good portion of my friends are abroad. I was used to being a spectator on many of their relationships with others, listening to the frustrations and the hopes they have for their friends but not ever going past that because there was never a need to. Now they're abroad and I'm the one behind and I have to ask myself if I'm going to accept the baton they've - possibly unknowingly - passed on to me. For any of you reading, I want you to know that I am accepting this challenge. We are in this together and this is not just one man's fight. When one falls back, another steps forward. If one leaves, another takes his place. I am developing a jealousy for the potential of people I never envisioned myself having an unforced one-on-one conversation with and it's strangely empowering. Jesus built up his disciples to be fishers of men, he left us here on Earth that we may spread his truth and love. This is not just our dream by chance, it has been intertwined in our very hearts. This is who we are and what we do. We are to worship the one true God and to spread his love - the very definition he uses to describe himself. It is so wonderfully simple and yet so, so important.

So I want to leave off with that reminder, mainly because it's nearly 2:30 AM and I'd rather not try to continue to develop my thoughts but I appreciate any kind of feedback, I'd love to discuss this further. Have a good time of day, all - wherever you may be.