Friday, March 9, 2012

Radical Honesty: Control.

"For I know the plans I have for you,"
declares the LORD,
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future."
jeremiah 29:11


These words should speak comfort into my soul and, to an extent, they do. It's nice to know that the One who loves me loves me enough to have planned out my future for me. But that's just it - it's nice. I don't rest in this fact, and if I'm honest with myself it kind of bothers me. Hearing someone say, "I've got it under control" or "I'll take care of it" nags at some corner of my mind. It's the same reason I find myself awake at 3am working on projects; it's the same reason my brain nearly explodes before something I've planned: I think I can do it better.

But how do you tell God - who created the galaxies, planned out nature's processes, and determined the formation of our minds - that you'll take the reigns on this one? You can't. At the very depth of my soul, I know that no matter what my circumstances bring, God has His hand over and through the situation. It's an unshakable truth in me that I can't explain, but because I know that I refrain from surrendering my hold on different aspects of my life. I can't blame God for my circumstances because I know in the end of it all this will ultimately bring Him glory.

If there's one thing I hate, it's giving up control. I am not good at delegating because of it. I never ask for help because of it. Giving up control scares me because I know once I do let go it's out of my hands and in God's hands and I have no say in the matter anymore and all I can do then is trust in the One who has paved the way ahead of me.

1 comment:

Kevin said...

I'm right there with ya. Definitely something I can struggle with at times, but one thing God can't do is go back on his promises, like the verse in Jeremiah you mentioned. He's got a plan for us :)

Also check out Psalm 37:5-6 for some encouragement!