this is what my heart looks like when worn on my sleeve:

if my identity determines my steps,

what determines my identity?

where is the mirror to tell me who i am or who i should be?

when i introduce myself to you, who am i claiming to be -

a child of the world

or a child of God?

do my actions reflect my heart?

does my heart reflect my maker?

i stand at the edge of a gorge yelling

WHO AM I CALLED TO BE?

all too often i find myself drinking out of the goblets of self

of dreams

of relations

of travel

i look for my worth behind the stained glass of status and prestige.

am i studying the right thing?

am i friends with the right people?

am i in the right place?

but whose lens am i looking through?

there are two paths i face:

two roads,

two choices.

one will cause me to shrink and cower

the other will allow me to flourish,

like the rising sun that shines -

AWAKE, MY SOUL

RISE AND SING.

you were made to meet your maker!

it's better to live than to hide!

why would i wait til i die to come alive?

I'M READY NOW, i'm not waiting for the afterlife.

oh, how i desperately long for the comfort of the past semesters -

the rainy music-filled nights,

the many bodies crammed in small spaces,

the talks that last throughout the setting sun -

but, my friends -

i must take this time to flourish and to stand, uniquely created and uniquely called.

this is my awakening:

my anthem of truth.

i stand at the edge of the gorge to yell

but with my frantic sound waves comes back a louder response

to remember who i am and live in full confidence of my identity.

my identity. my nametag. my heart. my mindset.

the thing that haunts me so

is CHRIST.

Christ who died to set me free

Christ who died so i may live.

he has given me the pen and compels me to write

to write pages and pages of splotched ink,

to weave ideas into actions and actions into stories.

to teach, to love, to learn, to grow.

to be inspired and to pay it forward.

i am walking onwards.

i refuse to become stagnant.

it is Christ who compels me to love and live.

to love until i have nothing left,

to live with my final breath.

to give of myself until the goblet is empty,

only to be overflowed by the purest of waters.

this is my awakening.

to be fully alive and aware of my life.

to be at peace with not having the answers,

with not seeing the whole map in front of me.

to live in the pursuit of dreams,

knowing that every painstaking step i take brings me closer to who i am,

and who i will be.

i am living up to my own character description,

answering my own casting call.

i have been given the stage directions,

now all i need to do is as i'm told.

remove these shackles from my ankles.

no more hiding, no more holding back.

there is something inside of me just waiting to burst forth

and i will not be the one to stand in the way of that.